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First they'd hit the bookstore, taking time between searching for gifts for Will's numerous relatives to point out favorite titles to each other. Dave's taste ran to sci-fi and fantasy, but he was pleasantly surprised by the number of "classic" novels that he'd actually read when Jen or Will pointed out some they'd enjoyed. He'd thoroughly enjoyed browsing the history section, noting new titles by familiar authors, but realizing he'd better wait until after the holidays to purchase them, lest he potentially step on any gift giver's toes. And of course, Jen just had to drag them over to the human sexuality section where after a few minutes she declared, loudly enough to draw the startled look of another patron, that it was hopeless because there wasn't a single book in the section that she could get for Will, since he already knew more than any of the authors. Will had the decency to blush above his shit eating grin and Dave just rolled his eyes as they ambled to the register to ring. In contrastKeats" revelation is personified in the feminine, a beauty that is ableto escape the darkness and sadness of the world for the purer realm. Am Isaying that Keats was a sissy? No - who knows?What I am saying, is that I think I realised I'd always been chasingsomething. Another girl, another date, another pursuit. It was fine for awhile, but the itch became something I could no longer reach. I'd driftedin and out of relationships for the past few years. Nothing meaningful,nothing serious.It wasn't them, it was me.That old chestnut.But it was true, I, like Keats, just wanted to hear that song, thatfeminine moment of pureness and bliss. That all changes in arelationship, it ebbs away when you realise there's an actual personunderneath that beauty. One with hopes, shattered-dreams and fears. Theyare normal. You're back in the world of "weariness" and "fret'. So, likeKeats, I'm left unable to harness what the nightingale represents,because, shit, that's the whole point: you.
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